I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
