My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
