There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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