Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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