dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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