your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
