I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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