she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
