I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
