I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
