yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
