a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
