We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
