If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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