Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
