My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
