Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
