so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
