i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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