I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
