why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
