Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so let's talk penis.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
