You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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