playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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