Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
