so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize