life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
