woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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