a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
