well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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