This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
