dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My dick has a subreddit
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
