i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
