just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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