i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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