Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize