So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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