Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
