I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
