After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
