Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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