That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
