i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
