we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
