Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
