a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
