Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
