Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
