Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
