Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
