Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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