TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
