Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
should my penis look like a turkey
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
