therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
