Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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