but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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