The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
