The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
